Interesting sensation

I read this book almost every week when I carried Gavin. When I gave birth to him small pieces of it were so apart of my spirit, they came to life inside of me. When I was going up the elevator to labor and delivery I could hear this little piece of the book, “Don’t think of it as pain. Think of it as an interesting sensation that requires all of your attention.” This became a mantra for me. I was far removed from the aesthetics and sounds of the hospital until Gavin was born, I myself barely made any noise at all. I was so immersed in every feeling and sensation my body had, my attention had absolutely nothing else to absorb. The feelings were intense but they were phenomenal. Truly omnipotent, they were incredibly perfect- every single one. When Gavin was born I was bursting with energy for days. I think if I would have paid my attention to anything else I would have been absolutely exhausted by the hospital and all of it’s extremities.

People ask me about my birth plan now, and I don’t have one. The only plan I have is to pay every single particle of my attention to the inside of my body, mind, and spirit until everything else just is. Nothing else is more important to me, my space is already laid and it’s on the inside.